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The Greek Gazette

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     After reading last weeks article about the prospect of Hector not fighting and staying in Troy with his family, I have to say I am uphauled by your lack of up to date facts. He is too fighting and has caused some havoc to our army in killing Patroclos.
Scadalarius Athine
     You are the one with the date confusion. That was an article from two weeks ago. We have sent you last weeks paper with a follow up to that story to prove this to you. As for Hector's thoughts of leaving the war, we found an intriguing letter while looking through our mail bags. The way it is signed "help from my last resort," has us thinking it may be a letter from the late Hector.
     Lately the war has taken many turns for the worse. We've just lost Achilles and Ajax, two of our best warriors. Without them our chances of winning this thing are slim to none, with the slim chance being that of a miracle. Should we be considering a forfeit so we can at least live the rest of our lives in peace? The past 10 years have been tough on all of us, waking up not knowing our fate for the day.
Your concerned citizen,
Theseus Pythagron
That miracle has happened! We have won! Thanks to Oddyseus and Helenus, we have won! No more worry, Greece will never fret again!

      Weekly Political Laughs


  An entire city destroyed, by an innocent horse!



The great Achaean warrior, Odysseus, will be on hand for an autograph signing at the Tri-County mall this weekend from 1-4 PM Saturday and Noon-3 PM Sunday. He will sign all your war related items, and used items by the warrior himself will be on hand for purchase. Entry to this exhibit is free as well as autographs, however there is a strict limit of one per person. Gift shop will include war-used-memorabilia, Trojan Horse replicas, etc. A great family event, fun for kids and adults!

Dear Annie,
      I am a warrior facing an incredibly tough decision. I returned to my homeland to inform my people that they should be praying to the Goddess Athena for help in this war, and in doing so I came face to face with my wife and child. My wife seems to beleive that if I return to war I will suredly die, leaving my wife a widow and my son a bastard child. This I do not want, as I feel it is my duty to defend my country and fight. I also feel my people would see me as a coward if I withdrew. What shall I do?
-A confused warrior seeking help from the last thinkable resort
Dear Confused Warrior,
      Well, the decision is ultimately yours to make. I can influence you that you will look like a coward if others know of your decision, but you will be a coward who still has his life. If living as a coward will not suit your style, return to war. There is the possibility that you won't even die, so keep that in mind. Trust in fate and let it guide you.